Sunday Funny

......I'm guessing this 112 yearold Somali man is the "Donald Trump" of his village...........who could blame the little "gold digger?"........what could BE a better investment than marrying a 112 year old guy with money?............I'm also guessing he has equipment the size of Manhattan.............lol...........
 
 
 
( Newser) – A 95-year age gap is no barrier to love, according to a 112-year-old Somali man who married a 17-year-old bride this week. Ahmed Muhamed Dhore—who told the BBC he still has his 1897 birth certificate written on goat skin—says he realized a dream by marrying his sixth wife. Dhore has 13 children, the oldest of them 80, and wants more. His bride's family says she's happy with her hubby. She's young enough to be his great-great granddaughter.

.......you're gonna like this one folks.............'what does Rosie O'Donnel have in common with Brad Pitt?"..............not Jen..................ROSIE ALMOST DATED ANGELINA?........ ha ha ha..........I'll admit Angelina is a bit of a flake after dating Billy Bob and wearing his blood vial around her neck.........but I'm doubting Rosie's delusion.............this Newser article by Evann Gastaldo.............
 
( Newser) – Rosie O'Donnell finally discussed her relationship problems on yesterday's The Howard Stern Show, but let's just skip right to the best part of the interview: Rosie's almost-date with Angelina Jolie. "She gave me her phone number," O'Donnell says. "There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through. I was a little afraid of her. She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still."
Rosie also gave her two cents on rumors that Oprah Winfrey is gay, saying that her friendship with Gayle King is the emotional equivalent of a gay coupling: "When they did that road trip, that’s as gay as it gets." Of her own partner Kelli Carpenter, O'Donnell says, "I don’t know that we’re going to be together. I think we’re working through what’s best for all of us."
 

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A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.
 

She tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."

The drunk says:

"YOUR BODY"

.

In the interest of clown excellence I post 
 
         10 Signs You May Have Hired The Wrong Clown
 
1)  By the end of the party every child is doing the" pull the finger" trick .
2)  Clown car must be started with breathalyzer device .
3)  Keeps screaming "My name's not BO-zo it's bo-ZO !!!"
4)  Prefaces each trick with "here's a little trick I learned in the joint."
5)  Wears a t-shirt that says "Drug free since March".
6)  All the balloon animals are ribbed and lubricated .
7)  Last name is Gacy .
8)  Only balloon animals he can make are snake and blown up snake .
9)  Business cards are still damp .
10)Brings his own bottle of punch .

MMinnoe that is funny!  I'm going to copy and paste it into an email and send it to a really good friend of mine, he will love it!

............lol............
 
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.
“Magic Beer”, he says.
She thinks he’s a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after that there is no one else worth talking to,goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says,
“That isn’t really Magic Beer, is it?”
“Yes, I’ll show you.” He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window.
The lady can’t believe it: “I bet you can’t do that again.”
He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.
She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, “Give her one of what I’m having.”
 
She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.
The bartender looks up at the guy and says, “You know, Superman, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk!”