Sunday Funny
Submitted by mminnoe on October 18, 2009 - 11:45am
A boy asks his granny 'Have you seen my pills Gran, they were labeled LSD?'
Granny answers: 'Screw the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?'
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HEE HAW
a travlin salesman wuz a goin down a country road one day
az he passed a farm he saw a man in a field
da man in da field wuz a boinkin a donkey real gud
so da salesman goes to da farmhouse to report da man
a yungin answers da door
salesman sez "did ya know der wuz a man a boinkin a donkey out der in da field?"
da yung boy sez
" HEE HAW -lways duz dat "
six fried chickens and a coke
..........Dating sites have reached into the lives of vampires , geeks , Satan worshippers , and even stoners...........ROFLMAO..............the REALLY strange group is "humans dressed as animals"......I think they call those people "FURRIES".............whew...............imagine introducing your new girlfriend to mom , while she's dressed as a bunny.............hey , that doesn't sound that bad.............lol...........does that make me a "chauvinist pig?".......... ha ha.............
( Newser) – If the matches you’re finding on eHarmony are too vanilla, never fear: There’s a dating site out there for you, and Julie Gerstein of Lemondrop rounds up the quirkiest of the quirky:
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eldoggg
..........THIS IS FUNNY.........is he trying to say Tom is disingenuous?...........
CHRISTIAN BALE'S "AMERICAN PSYCHO" INSPIRATION : tom cruise
( Newser) – To capture the "Martian-like" behavior of serial killer Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, Christian Bale studied a fellow Hollywooder with a well-publicized belief in aliens, says director Mary Harron: Tom Cruise. Bale-as-Bateman looked at the world "like somebody from another planet," she tells BlackBook."One day he called me and he had been watching Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes, and he was really taken with this energy."
—Evann Gastaldo
Source: BlackBook
eldoggg
.............riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight................this isn't suspicious..........especially in Naples Florida...............ROFL...........
Cops lose 2-gram bag of cocaine used to train dogs
Wed Oct 21, 3:34 pm ET
NAPLES, Fla. – Police in Naples are on the lookout for cocaine. Somehow, they lost their stash. A 2-gram packet was discovered missing this summer from a narcotics kit used in training. Two officers lost it in April, but they're unsure where. It could've been the police parking lot or an airport rental car, but the likely spot was a hotel.
The veteran pair checked out the kit to train their police dogs, but the one who usually handles the drugs was called to a scene. By the time she returned, the dogs were energetic and destroying the room.
The officers said they were focusing more on straightening up the hotel room than collecting the drugs, so the bag probably got left.
They weren't reprimanded — supervisors say it was an honest mistake.
___
Information from: Naples Daily News, http://www.naplesnews.com
eldoggg
..........that 'll teach this robber to clean the leaches off before he goes to work...........ROFL,,,,,,,,,
Robber pleads guilty after leech provides DNA
Tue Oct 20, 1:47 pm ET
SYDNEY (Reuters) – An Australian man faces jail for armed robbery after police used blood from a leech to make a DNA match from a 2001 crime scene, a court spokeswoman said on Monday.
Peter Alec Cannon, 54, pleaded guilty to aggravated armed robbery in the Supreme Court in Launceston on the island state of Tasmania on Monday.
Crown prosecutor John Ransom told the court that a policeman had picked up a leech from near a safe at the scene of the crime from which forensic scientists extracted blood and a DNA sample, according to a report in local newspaper The Mercury.
Seven years later, when Cannon was arrested and charged with a drugs crime, police took a DNA sample from him and it matched the sample from the robbery.
The court heard that Cannon and another man had robbed and assaulted a 71-year-old woman at her bushland home, stealing $500 from her.
The court spokeswoman said Cannon was remanded in custody for sentencing on Friday this week.
(Editing by Sugita Katyal)
eldoggg
Wow, a leech, eh?
Was it Charlie Rangel ?
.......I'm saving that joke mminoe..........
eldoggg
Hello kind sir , if the girls with good racks work at Hooters , then where do the girls with one leg work?
IHOP , where "tipping your waitress" takes on a whole new meaning.
whizzo
Alrighty then Whizzo! That is hilarious and I never thought of it that way!
OMG, I love it MMinnoe! That is hilarious!!! :)
An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather (Abdullah) in a nursing home. All the Arab
facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian home.
After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa. "How do you like it here?" asked the grandson.
"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said grandpa. "We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you, since you are a little different from everyone."
"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents," Abdullah said with a big smile.
"There's a musician here ……he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro!
There is a judge in here ……he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honor!
There's a dentist here ……90 years old. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor!
And me ……I haven't had sex for 35 years, and they still call me The F#%king Arab."