A trip to Grandma's

When my mother called a few weeks ago and basically told me that she wanted Lauren for a weekend, I thought "great." Grammy wanted to take Lauren to her first county fair and since Kansas City doesn't offer much for the typical county fair experience, I sent her to Grandma's for the weekend.
However, only a couple of hours into this child-free weekend, I admit, I started to freak out a little. When you live your entire life for one person, organizing your daily activities around this person and deciding what activities will get done, it is a bit alarming when suddenly, that person is no longer there.
On top of that, when I talk to Grammy after the first fair experience, I hear that Lauren has thrown up after a part of funnel cake and a ride on the carousel. She isn't sick, just had too much fun, I think – not to mention an unusal amount of sugar for one evening. It makes me miss her all the more because I am not there to take care of her.
Not that she cares, though. I could hear her giggle and loud discussions of life in that baby langauge of hers in the background as I am talking to my mother on the phone. I don't really think she cares if mom and dad are there as long as she as her stuffed monkey and a baby doll of choice. It is me, as her mother, that is having the hard time with the separation.
I know in the back of my mind that she will have a great weekend. My husband and I will have the opportunity to go to dinner and a movie sans child and my parents will have a blast spoiling Lauren. It doesn't make me miss her any less though. I think as parents, we are programmed to worry about our children, whatever their age and wherever they are. So when they are not with us, it makes it even more difficult becasue we are not there to offer protection or simply to watch what they are doing and new skills they are learning.
So I will spend the coming weekend sleeping in, catching up on chores and spending some quailty time with my husband – but with a hand always on my cell phone to check in on my little monkey.